NO MORE EXAM

Hooray...!Its the end of the journey for my Bachelor Degree of Health Science (Dietetics). Its ended with practical exam in Ward 2D (ICU ward). For most people, I am sure that they will be very excited to welcome this moment. Some will feel that its the end of their tough life, because no more exam, no more boring lecture, no more assignment, no more stress, etc......Some will feel that its the beginning of their next journey, they are welcoming the new life of work, the felling of become adult finally, no more student......

For me, what has first come across my mind is "blank". I am like a miserable sweep, does not know what I should do now. I have no goal, I have no mission to achieve, I have no reason for taking up the note and read, I have no motivation to use my time wisely....I am totally loss.

Just after the last exam, I feel sad and worry as I fell that I did not performed well in the exam. I still like a blur student and not a well prepared future dietitian. I am worry I am not perfect, I am worry I am not qualified, I am worry I am as stupid as before, I am worry of nothing. I wish I can do the best for the last paper and I wish I can end it with confident in myself. But the thing is not turn out as what I wish. I become more doubt of my knowledge, skills and qualification as a dietitian, as a graduate student.

How I wish that I am given another chance to start from the beginning, or given another chance to learn more, to compensate for the lacking. The happiness of graduate soon does not come across my mind, I am reject to be graduated in mind. I don't like this feeling. I feel my life will become meaningless. I have no direction to go.

Now, I make myself a to-do-list. Hope that this will motivate me to move forward and to grow mature.

SERIOUS 
1. Search for job
2. Write resume and cover letter
3. Reset goal
4. Tidy up my mind
5. Read motivation book

LEISURE
1. Travel around KB again
2. Travel around Kuala Terengganu
3. Movie/drama marathon before going serious
4. Tidy up my thing
5. Say thank you and apologize to the people around me (failed)
6. Think for new image
     - dye my hair
     - make up and skin care
     - buy a new suit of formal
7. Start exercise